


be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)

by mearcats



Series: home is wherever i'm with you [6]
Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Episode 11.18, Episode Related, F/M, Pining, a Luby fic but while Abby is with Jake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21825310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mearcats/pseuds/mearcats
Summary: A short ficlet wherein Abby tries not to let her lingering feelings for Luka interfere with her relationship with Jake.
Relationships: Jake Scanlon/Abby Lockhart, Luka Kovač/Abby Lockhart
Series: home is wherever i'm with you [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1340614
Comments: 6
Kudos: 17





	be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me)

Abby pushed herself out of Jake’s arms and crawled out of bed, smiling at his sleeping form. She tiptoed to the kitchen, trying to be as quiet as possible.

They had had a long day, even if it was good. Abby was still too wired to sleep after that case at the end of the day. She’d never seen a subluxed globe before, and she wasn’t sure she ever would again. Hopefully not, if she were being honest. 

As surprising as it had been, it had just been so  _ cool _ to solve with Luka’s help. His solution had been quick and creative, and they way he’d guided her through—her and Jake, that is—left her as warm as his smile. Everything had felt right.

Staring into her fridge, she reached for a can of ginger ale. She suddenly felt a little unsettled, like there was something in her stomach. 

And that something was...fluttering. 

Oh  _ no _ . 

Taking a gulp of her soda, she tried to banish the memory of Luka’s defined features from her mind, the way her heart had raced at his proximity earlier—damn it, why couldn’t that just be about helping their patients?—and the way his approval had just made the rest of her day.

No, no,  _ no _ . Things were going so well with Jake. He liked her, she had fun with him, and he made her laugh. And he never made her cry, unlike  _ some _ people. 

She was over Luka, she had to be. He was certainly over her, and he was with Sam. Very with Sam, in a living-together degree of seriousness. 

Besides, with a couple of tiny exceptions, Luka had been so distant from her ever since she started her internship. Even today, he’d hurried away as soon as he possibly could, that beautiful smile turning to awkwardness in nearly the blink of an eye. If it weren’t for those few glimmers of their deep friendship, she could almost forget they had such rich, impactful history between them. 

But Luka seemed able to forget. Abby only wished she could, with Jake there, wanting her and maybe even loving her. He wanted to be with her and wanted the world to know they were together. 

She wished she could say the same. 

Abby liked Jake, she liked him  _ so _ much. And she wanted him. She even wanted to be with him...or at least, she wanted to want that. He was sweet and kind and thought she hung the moon, so why couldn’t she stop the ache in her heart when she thought of Luka?

Finishing off her ginger ale, she set the can on her kitchen counter and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Abby stood in her doorway, staring in at Jake. 

She couldn’t define what they had, not when she was so torn and unready. But she could try. She would be present with Jake for as long as it took for her heart to get with the program. She had two weeks. 

Biting her lip, she climbed back into bed, trying to find the contentment she’d felt earlier.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while! And this is just a short one, but I was able to write it while traveling, so wooo! I hope you all enjoy, and the title is a reference to _Almost (Sweet Music)_ by Hozier.
> 
> Come scream with me here or on tumblr @mearcatsreturns!


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